Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Frustration

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It's been almost a month since we put our first offer down on that house/property/potential future farm and the month has been full of obstacles. At this point we've spent close to $3000 on inspections and fees and there just seems to be obstacle after obstacle. It's very disheartening, for our bank account and my emotions. I often wish I could just sit down with the person on the other side of this deal instead of going realtor to realtor so that we could talk about what he wants and what he is feeling. Because all I'm feeling is negative energy and impatience and stress about the whole thing.

A few weeks ago the Carolina Farm Stewardship Association hosted a weekend of farm tours, which was amazing by the way. While there I met a few farmers who gave me good advice and shared what they knew. I told a few people about the property we were hoping to get and one farmer made sure to mention a few times "If this doesn't work out, don't stop trying. It will all come together."

I am grateful for that advice now and I am trying to keep that in mind.

♥ Jessa

Posted by at 12:54 PM
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Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Moving Fast

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Apparently Wayne and I are known for being decisive and acting fast. It doesn't always feel as fast to me as it does to other people, but I guess I'm the one living it. It wasn't very long after deciding to move to Raleigh, NC that we listed our home in Florida for sale (5 months or so). Then the house was sold and *bam* we moved. At exactly 1 month of living here in our downtown apartment, we sign a contract for the aforementioned home and I am S.O. E.X.C.I.T.E.D.

There are still a million steps to go before we end up as owners of this property, as anyone who has bought a house before knows. We have septic inspections and home inspections and appraisals and potentially even another round of negotiations before I can really start to plan. But it's totally possible that this is the beginning of the lifestyle and life that I want so badly. It's entirely possible that from here on out you can follow me as I begin living my dream, a scary hardworking dream.

This 4 acre plot of cleared land is surrounded by a pond and a beautiful nursery, has one larger home and one smaller home, tiny shed and an oversized garage, and might be the future sight of our homestead/farm. I might grow food there, food for me and food for my friends and maybe even food for restaurants and farm to table dinners. I might plant an orchard there and build a greenhouse there and keep my bees and cute little chickens there. I might come home from a full day of work in an office or University and put in another full day of work weeding and planting and harvesting.

It sounds wonderful doesn't it? Cross your fingers for me. And as Farmer Chad told me this weekend "Don't get discouraged if this one doesn't work out. It is all made right in the end."

♥ Jessa

Posted by at 07:53 PM
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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

All New

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Today we put an offer down on a house in Raleigh. Not really Raleigh but very very close and not really a house but 4 acres, two houses, and a garage. I promptly began to get anxious. I feel like there is so much to do, so much on my plate right now that I barely know where to start. That is especially ironic considering that I am paid to help people organize and prioritize their lives. This is all just happening so quickly, I'm allowed to be a little nervous right? I mean, I literally bought barstools yesterday for the new apartment that we have been living in all of THREE WEEKS and we are putting an offer in on a house?!

And then things got better...

To curb my anxiety and knock something off that to-do list we took a walk to the downtown farmer's market. On the way there a man handed me a free plant - a tiny, gorgeous azalea - and my mood instantly lifted. Once there I met up with an organic farmer and planned my next volunteer day (tomorrow!), we spoke french with two men at the cafe we stopped at for lunch, and then we got delicious ice cream on the walk back. My to-do list is only one item shorter and yet I feel ten times less anxious and more ready. A good walk will do that. :)

♥ Jessa

Posted by at 02:21 PM
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Tuesday, September 02, 2014

All New

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I turned the television on for the first time in a week to watch the first FSU game of the season. It took minutes to warm up, which was kind of a beautiful thing. It made me think about all of the things we have been doing instead of watching television. Unpacking SO.MANY.BOXES and finding new homes for all of the things that were deemed useful enough to make the move. Trying out new-to-us restaurants in our new city (every single thing has been delicious, thank you Yelp!). Spending quality time with each other and with my best friend.

It has been less than a week since we signed a 10 month lease on our 2 bedroom apartment in downtown Raleigh and I feel such JOY. I’m not sure if that joy is because I have spent at least a little time every single day with my best friend, who makes me feel relaxed and makes me laugh. It might be because I have been lucky enough to work, even just a little, from home so that I can help provide for our family in a non-stressful way (leaving behind a lot of work related stress and tomfoolery). It also might be because of the place; the cooler weather, the city life, the gorgeous hills and greenery.

I guess it’s pretty amazing that I am feeling such joy in the first place when I’m surrounded by boxes and trash. Moving is SO wasteful even when you do your best to use recycled materials and find new homes for your unwanted things. But I am grateful.

The last time I wrote here at Riotous Living was a year ago. It was the first of my sister's birthdays without her and it was HARD. This year was a little less difficult and a little more joyous, mostly because I am doing things that I know she would be incredibly proud of. She is in my heart and my mind throughout this entire journey, and I hope to document more of it here.

♥ Jessa

Posted by at 11:00 AM
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Sunday, August 25, 2013

Birthdays

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In some nebulous, intangible ways I am a different person than I was just over 5 months ago. I am more cautious I think. It is impossible for me to make plans ahead of time. I value people even more than I did before. I am quicker to anger (is that possible?) but also much more forgiving. More subdued in some situations and more awkward in others... do I talk about her? do I not?

Despite all of that, life is slowly returning to a sense of normalcy - it feels weird to say that but it’s true. I have my garden and my work and my friends. Last Wednesday I went dancing. I didn’t cry at all on Saturday (5 months since my sister died) but I did sing “Summer of ‘69” by Bryan Adams at Karaoke (poorly. Very poorly). Why is it then that I just saw the date August 30 (her birthday) and my heart jumped into my throat?

No matter how normal my life seems on some days, there is always the anticipation, the waiting for those awful days. Those still exist. The days that make it difficult to get out of bed, have a normal conversation with someone without for-real-crying, not adorable-single-tear-down-the-cheek-crying, sit on the couch after work and watch mindless television with a beer in hand days. Days where I don’t want to see my friends or answer my phone, even when it’s someone I really like calling. The anticipation of those days is almost worse than the actual days.

♥ Jessa

Posted by at 04:00 PM
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