Tuesday, September 02, 2014

All New

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Today we put an offer down on a house in Raleigh. Not really Raleigh but very very close and not really a house but 4 acres, two houses, and a garage. I promptly began to get anxious. I feel like there is so much to do, so much on my plate right now that I barely know where to start. That is especially ironic considering that I am paid to help people organize and prioritize their lives. This is all just happening so quickly, I'm allowed to be a little nervous right? I mean, I literally bought barstools yesterday for the new apartment that we have been living in all of THREE WEEKS and we are putting an offer in on a house?!

And then things got better...

To curb my anxiety and knock something off that to-do list we took a walk to the downtown farmer's market. On the way there a man handed me a free plant - a tiny, gorgeous azalea - and my mood instantly lifted. Once there I met up with an organic farmer and planned my next volunteer day (tomorrow!), we spoke french with two men at the cafe we stopped at for lunch, and then we got delicious ice cream on the walk back. My to-do list is only one item shorter and yet I feel ten times less anxious and more ready. A good walk will do that. :)

♥ Jessa

Posted by at 11:00 AM
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Tuesday, September 02, 2014

All New

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I turned the television on for the first time in a week to watch the first FSU game of the season. It took minutes to warm up, which was kind of a beautiful thing. It made me think about all of the things we have been doing instead of watching television. Unpacking SO.MANY.BOXES and finding new homes for all of the things that were deemed useful enough to make the move. Trying out new-to-us restaurants in our new city (every single thing has been delicious, thank you Yelp!). Spending quality time with each other and with my best friend.

It has been less than a week since we signed a 10 month lease on our 2 bedroom apartment in downtown Raleigh and I feel such JOY. I’m not sure if that joy is because I have spent at least a little time every single day with my best friend, who makes me feel relaxed and makes me laugh. It might be because I have been lucky enough to work, even just a little, from home so that I can help provide for our family in a non-stressful way (leaving behind a lot of work related stress and tomfoolery). It also might be because of the place; the cooler weather, the city life, the gorgeous hills and greenery.

I guess it’s pretty amazing that I am feeling such joy in the first place when I’m surrounded by boxes and trash. Moving is SO wasteful even when you do your best to use recycled materials and find new homes for your unwanted things. But I am grateful.

The last time I wrote here at Riotous Living was a year ago. It was the first of my sister's birthdays without her and it was HARD. This year was a little less difficult and a little more joyous, mostly because I am doing things that I know she would be incredibly proud of. She is in my heart and my mind throughout this entire journey, and I hope to document more of it here.

♥ Jessa

Posted by at 11:00 AM
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Sunday, August 25, 2013

Birthdays

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In some nebulous, intangible ways I am a different person than I was just over 5 months ago. I am more cautious I think. It is impossible for me to make plans ahead of time. I value people even more than I did before. I am quicker to anger (is that possible?) but also much more forgiving. More subdued in some situations and more awkward in others... do I talk about her? do I not?

Despite all of that, life is slowly returning to a sense of normalcy - it feels weird to say that but it’s true. I have my garden and my work and my friends. Last Wednesday I went dancing. I didn’t cry at all on Saturday (5 months since my sister died) but I did sing “Summer of ‘69” by Bryan Adams at Karaoke (poorly. Very poorly). Why is it then that I just saw the date August 30 (her birthday) and my heart jumped into my throat?

No matter how normal my life seems on some days, there is always the anticipation, the waiting for those awful days. Those still exist. The days that make it difficult to get out of bed, have a normal conversation with someone without for-real-crying, not adorable-single-tear-down-the-cheek-crying, sit on the couch after work and watch mindless television with a beer in hand days. Days where I don’t want to see my friends or answer my phone, even when it’s someone I really like calling. The anticipation of those days is almost worse than the actual days.

♥ Jessa

Posted by at 04:00 PM
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Friday, August 02, 2013

Portland Rose Garden

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While we were in Portland this past time we finally visited the famous Rose Garden! I can't believe that we didn't do this before because these gardens are now on my short list of favorite beautiful spaces. There really isn't much to say about this. See for yourself.

That one reminds me of when the Red Queen painted all the white roses red in Alice in Wonderland.

See what I mean? How could I have missed this for a whole summer?! And it's free!

♥ Jessa

Posted by at 10:12 PM
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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Sunday

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Part of my weekend in pictures...

::Amazing, delicious, super sweet watermelon from the garden::

::Turning old shirts into yarn::

::Thai hot chili peppers from the garden::

::Figs from our tree::

::Always wear gloves when mincing hot peppers or your hand will burn like fire::

::My favorite way to eat figs, with cheddar cheese::

::I made hot sauce using this recipe (too tomato-ish, like spicy marinara but good)::

::Stuffed eggplant with eggplant from the garden::

♥ Jessa

Posted by at 12:12 PM
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